#CLONE WARS ROGER ROGER MOVIE#
#CLONE WARS ROGER ROGER SERIES#

SheвЂ™s around so much I half expected her to pop up in scenes with the emperor or the Hutts, just stumbling into frame while saying something вЂњcuteвЂќ like вЂњOops, wrong door,вЂќ or вЂњThis isnвЂ™t the shuttle bay.вЂќ SheвЂ™s unbearable, absolutely excruciating to watch, and yet she finds herself in almost every scene of the film. Every time this 14-year-old little monster opens her mouth to say something вЂњwittyвЂќ my jaw went slack and my eyes rolled into the back of my skull. Their genius booster shot in the arm of suckdom? A plucky tween girl sidekick who keeps getting herself into trouble while being delightfully precocious and calling AnakinвЂ¦Darth fucking Vader himselfвЂ¦Skyguy.

So leave it to television writers to sit down and come up with a classic solution to lagging ratings. No, Star Wars is an ailing, dying beached whale of a property, too large to ignore but left too long in the sun to save. And unlike other artists in his situation, he isnвЂ™t able to properly recycle the ones he had to begin with either. As an artist Lucas is entirely bankrupt, no longer able to conjure a single, tangible, original idea. And while some might argue that it canвЂ™t be fanfic if the original creator is involved, I would counter that the creator in question died a long time ago. Bad fanfic that tries to include every element you love about Star Wars without actually using those elements the way they were intended. The Prequels arenвЂ™t actually Star Wars movies. ThereвЂ™s not much reason to dredge out all those complaints again.

#CLONE WARS ROGER ROGER SERIES#

HeвЂ™s forgotten that the most important duty you have to your fanbase is not to give them what they want вЂ“ but instead to give them what they REALLY want.Дo the fanboys REALLY want a bunch of scenes of characters whose destinies we already know fly through a series of dogfights so their pretty ships can go PEWPEWPEW against lifeless moronic droids so incompetent you question the tenacity of anyone that would put them into service let alone fight a war with an army of them? Do the fanboys REALLY want to spend the next 20 years of their lives arguing that the movies they love donвЂ™t, in fact, suck the hair off of a nutless monkey? Do the fanboys REALLY want an animated television series not written for 30-year-old men, but easily amused 8 year olds on Saturday morning between bites of soggy Corn Puffs? Because thatвЂ™s what theyвЂ™re fucking getting with The Clone Wars.Д®verything that was wrong with the prequels is wrong again here. HeвЂ™s long since stopped working with the geniuses of old, replacing them with young, idealistic artists who revere him as some sort of living Man-God and long to carry on his legacy rather than forging their own. The inmates run the asylum now as Lucas long ago stopped listening to his soul as an artist - his heart as a storyteller вЂ“ and has since begun listening to the slavering fanboys who cry themselves to sleep at night with their Darth Vader backpacks clutched close to their chests lest they separate it from their beating hearts. But those days are gone, in their place an endless stream of merchandising not meant for the average consumer, but the hyper specialized fan who still to this day must own everything and anything properly branded with the Star Wars logo.

#CLONE WARS ROGER ROGER MOVIE#

Complete with an extended ending, CG Harry and No Ewok celebration song.ДЄ long time ago in a galaxy far, far awayвЂ¦life was good and a movie named Star Wars rocked our god damned faces off. So for those folks (and those who have to suffer listening to or reading those folks) I offer the Ridley Scott style four-hour cut of my original review. So of course you can imagine the response I got when, you know, I actually had something negative to say about a Star Wars property (for a few hours.) And then the argument showed up. And in not mentioning it, I got beaned in the head by a lonely troll swinging his lightsaber around in defense of something not even under attack. Phantom Menace came out in вЂ™99 and it was only the highest grossing movie of the year asshole.вЂќ But mixed in with all the great movie talk was this one sorry, sad, pathetic e-mail that read: вЂњFuck you.

I got a lot of e-mail about 1982 and peopleвЂ™s other favorite years. Matrix, Iron Giant, Blair Witch, Sixth Sense, Spy Who Shagged Me. Hell, just a few weeks ago I was discussing on a podcast about how this was the best cinematic summer since вЂ™82, and then we talked about other great summers. And thereвЂ™s nothing they hate more than a perceived slight to the piece of art that makes everything in their dreary little lives make sense. These guys are programmed - positively hard wired with the shit. I mean I knew it was going to rear its ugly head. When I originally sat down to write this piece, I thought about adding in a rebuttal to one of the longest running arguments for Post-trilogy criticism there is.

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